Replacing the receiver, I glanced in the mirror,something, I had avoided all day. I looked foolish and effeminate andyet for some inexplainable reason I stupidly found myself quicklybrushing my now almost shoulder length hair into some sort of tidiness.I told myself that at least I was trying to portray some sort ofrespectability to these long family friends.I took a deep breath, I wasn't looking forward to this one little bit, Ijust wanted to be on my own right now. It wasn't that I didn't knowthem, they had been close friends with my mother and father, we had beenneighbours for as long as I could remember and they had often baby satme when I was small, in fact I had spent many hours with the both ofthem. It was just that I now felt embarrassed and ashamed about myappearance and in reality, I was terrified that they would say somethingabout my stupid breasts, which I was sure that she had noticed the daybefore.I walked slowly up my back garden path to the gate that was in the. They parted as we entered, and we were ushered to the front row. The preacher was an old friend of the family, at one time our campers were side by side. It seemed like he preached the whole sermon straight to me.He talked about love, loss, and overcoming tragedy. He talked about God’s will, and how mortals would never understand it most of the time. Finally, he asked for a silent prayer for the souls of my family.I had been getting more and more agitated. Every face I saw triggered a memory, every hug or pat on the back seemed to bring more pain. It finally hit me. I’d never had a chance to grieve for my family. I’d had to jump straight in, arrange the funerals, deal with the insurance, and try to save the company. Plus, I never had anyone to grieve with. Every one close to me was gone. Kim acted sympathetic, but I could sense she never really gave a rat’s butt about it.Now, twenty months later I sat here, surrounded by families I’d known since childhood, the friends I’d made here,.
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